A quick update....

I'm sorry to have left my blog on such a sad note for so long. Thank you to everyone who has called, e-mailed, or spoken with me about the last entry. Your support, encouragement, and friendship mean so much to me and I truly appreciate it.

On with life...

A has been up at girls' camp for church this week. The house is strangely quiet without her...but I think B has enjoyed being an "only child" for a few days. DH went up to camp overnight to help out so he was able to check on her. He said she's having a lot of fun and is really enjoying it. I'm so glad! But I'll also be glad when she comes back home! I think B will, too. A's softball team ended up in first place in their age division and the tournament starts next week. Hopefully it will go as well as the regular season went!

B spent the first part of this week with my sister E since DH and I both had to work. She is really helpful with her little cousin N. I have enjoyed spending some extra one-on-one time with her this week. Two nights in a row she cuddled in my bed with me at bedtime. She is tracking the minutes we spend reading together in the evenings so she can earn a free ticket to Six Flags. Hmmmm...if she earns the ticket I guess that means we actually have to go to Six Flags! DH and A have been but B and I haven't, so it would be a new experience for us.

I'm staying busy at work. Very busy. But that's o.k....things will settle down soon.

A friend at work died in a house fire over Memorial Day weekend. He was one of my favorite people at work -- no matter what was going on around him, he was always cheerful, smiling, and calm. I never left any conversation with him without a smile on my face, regardless of how the rest of my day was going. I am going to his memorial service today. He will be missed.

Random thought for the day: ladies, when you wear a skirt or dress, PLEASE wear a slip!!!

Requiem for a Dream

One of my dreams died last night. It was a slow, painful death...the kind you wouldn't wish on anyone or anything. In reality, the dream had been dying for the last few months, although I was trying so very hard to keep it alive. There were moments of light over the last few months when it seemed the dream would survive and maybe even thrive. But most of the time it languished, pale and pinched, trying to stay alive but knowing the end was near. I wasn't willing to let it go. I prolonged its suffering. I prolonged my own suffering.

I have learned that some dreams require more than just my own sheer will in order to survive. I am a strong-willed person...but that isn't enough for some dreams. And the will of just one person isn't enough for some dreams...some dreams need more than one person feeding and nourishing them. Some dreams involve more than we are able to give, or more than we are willing to give. Sometimes hope isn't enough to keep a dream alive. Sometimes faith isn't enough. Some dreams are meant to be just that -- dreams...hazy and distant...beautiful enough to keep us reaching but ever elusive, dancing tantalizingly close and then dashing back out of reach, almost daring us to continue to hope and reach.

I have learned that some dreams come from a place within us that we thought had been locked tight a long time ago, with the key thrown away...a place we had almost forgotten even existed. Like Houdini, these dreams magically escape the shackles and locks that have held them bound for so long. They reappear with a ferocity and intensity that catches us off guard. Other dreams have been there all along, quietly tending to themselves until the time was right for them to gently surface.

This was one of the Houdini-type dreams. One I had locked away years ago that suddenly burst forth a couple of years ago and took me by complete surprise. Unfortunately, this one was not meant to be. I wonder why this happened...why Heavenly Father would ask me to go through this...lead me down the path towards something I wanted so much, showing me how it really could be achieved, only to tell me in the end that it was not meant to be. One of my friends suggested that the reason for this journey was so I could share my discoveries and things I learned with others to help them. Indeed, that has happened. Through the research and work I did in trying to achieve my dream, I was able to help someone else achieve the exact same dream. I am happy for her.

But my heart aches for me. Today, I grieve for what never was really meant to be.

“Where the Wild Things Are”

I know it’s been a while since I updated…things have been pretty crazy in our neck of the woods! Yes, I know – that’s pretty normal for us. Between softball, soccer, end of the school year, gymnastics and dance classes and upcoming recital for those, church, and work, it’s been insane around here. The girls are both enjoying their sports (B in soccer and A in softball). B had her dance pictures taken last week and they’re going to be so cute – I can’t wait for her recital. She really didn’t enjoy tap and ballet (A did) but she really loves jazz and wants to continue. A is just doing gymnastics this year and not dance…she is good at all of it but decided to stick with gymnastics.

A had her awards ceremony at school this week and won 5 awards: straight A honor roll, academic team, math team, Most Valuable Player for the 7th grade band, and highest GPA in Spanish for the whole school! We’re very proud of her. We also found out that she did extremely well on the last round of standardized tests. She’s a smart kiddo. B also did very, very well on her last round of standardized tests and her teacher was so excited to tell me about it.

As for the title of this entry…on Saturday I chaperoned A’s band field trip to a theme park. What a day! Our next door neighbor also chaperoned so she and I got our groups together so we could spend some time together. It was a fun day, although exhausting and at times a bit tense. But the kids had a good time and I’m glad I was able to spend the day having fun with A and her friends. And then yesterday was B’s field day at school, so I spent the morning helping her class with relay races and such…another exhausting but fun day. I’m so glad my girls want to have me involved in activities like that. I love spending time with them and just having fun.

B and I are reading some of the Little House on the Prairie books right now and I enjoy spending that bit of time in the evenings with her, curled up on the couch and reading. Lots of wild animals in those books, too!! Seems like I’ve been surrounded by wild kids and now literary wild animals all week!!

Pictures coming soon – I promise!!!

Randomness...

*A pitched what was probably her best game ever earlier this week. She also got two hits. She is becoming quite the softball player! Obviously she inherited her athletic ability from me....NOT!!

*B really enjoys soccer, although her team's season record is not exactly great. But she's having fun and really enjoys it.

*Grandma C (my grandma) left to go back home after a one-month visit today. We always enjoy having her here. We would love it if she would move out here...how great would that be???

*We have been introduced to the world of Crocs. My gosh, how ugly are those shoes!!! I still can't convince myself to wear them but A loves hers. They just look way too wide and floppy on my feet. I need to get B a smaller size. Even Grandma C got in on the Crocs action and is now a Crocs convert. I've ordered a pair of Crocs flipflops so maybe those will fit better.

*School is almost over. Can you believe it? Wow! A has her spring band concert and field trip next week. I'm chaperoning the field trip. I must have lost my mind....a bunch of 7th graders at an amusement park all day. What was I thinking?!?!?! LOL

*I've got a miserable cold. Miserable. Horrible.

*We're babysitting little N (my nephew) today. He is so darn cute! And I've never, ever seen a baby go down for a nap easier than him. It was incredible! There's just something about babies. *Sigh*

A quick update....

B turned 8 this week and was baptized yesterday. It was wonderful...just wish my sister A and my brother C could have been here, along with more of DH's family. But it was wonderful! Some pictures for your viewing pleasure.....

Spring has sprung....

and it brought seasonal allergies along with it! Such fun. Not! DH thinks he has allergies, and we know B does. She doesn't want to take her Claritin. I think we need to put her back on a prescription allergy medicine. Poor kid. Both girls are actually not feeling well today. B's stomach trouble is acting up again, and A is getting a bad head cold, complete with sore throat and sinus headache. So yes, spring is finally here...and with the blooming and growth comes allergy and cold season.

Our lesson in YW today was on the Temple. I was able to share with the girls how important the temple is to me and what peace I find when I go to the temple. I need to go more regularly. I have felt a real need...a real, almost physical yearning, to attend the temple. It's hard to explain, but I know I need to be there more often. I have been struggling to get answers to some issues that have been troubling me and I think going to the temple would really help.

Preparations are in full swing for the arrival of DH's parents this weekend for B's baptism. The house is slowly getting cleaned...slowly, but it's getting there. DH and the girls worked really hard yesterday and got a lot done while I was at work. I appreciate that DH is willing to jump in and do whatever needs to be done. Now if he could just get the bathroom remodeling project finished...

There is only one more month of school. Wow! This year has flown by. Both girls have done really well in school but I'm hopin for more next year...I'm hoping they'll be challenged more and have their learning needs met. That really hasn't happened since we moved here but I'm hoping. DH has learned a lot through the gifted education classes he has taken this year and I'm hoping we can implement some of it with the girls' teachers next year.

B had a soccer game yesterday...they didn't win but she did a good job. She played offense for the first time. The kids on her team are all about 2 years older than she is but she holds her own. A has another softball game tomorrow night. She loves softball!

We need to replant some things in our garden. We got a late freeze a couple of weeks ago and it killed the cucumbers and squash....our favorite things from the garden! I hope it isn't too late to find new starts for those. I look forward to having fresh cucumbers and squash each summer. I detest working in the garden, but I do love eating the fresh fruits and veggies that we grow!

I have a new favorite smell....spring. Every day this week as I was leaving work, there was a scent that hit me as I stepped outside of the building. The only way I can describe it is warm, woodsy, with a little pine, and a bit of floral and grass scent. It's a lovely smell. I found myself standing just outside the door on Friday after I stepped out of the building, just soaking in that smell. Love it!

Yes, I'm still here!

Sorry it's been a while since I updated...things have been hectic (but what else is new?)!

Things are busy here...getting ready for B's upcoming baptism and the influx of family that comes with such an event. DH's parents are coming, as is my sister M. I really wish my sister A could come, and more of DH's family, but no such luck. B is getting her ears pierced as part of her birthday celebration and she's excited about that. The day of her baptism will be a busy one...baptism, family lunch to celebrate, and then she has a soccer game later that day.

A's softball season is going well and her pitching has definitely improved. She is enjoying the season and loves to pitch. She and DH are enjoying their practice time together. She had a piano recital last week and performed beautifully. Then on Sunday she and I played a duet in church. I've been looking forward to the day we could do that ever since she started playing the piano. We played a duet that my sister M and I have done on a few occasions. It was really wonderful to be able to play that duet together. She's a really good pianist.

Both girls have had standardized testing at school this week so they've been bored with that. I remember hating standardized testing at school. Yuck! Both girls have had time to do lots of independent reading during the testing but they're still quite bored.

My house is a mess (what else is new) and I've been putting in lots of extra hours at work, trying to wrap up a huge project I've been working on for 16 months. Unfortunately, the end of this project is when the most extra hours seem to be required...and it's coinciding with B's baptism and family coming in for that. ACK! The house needs to be thoroughly cleaned and I'm just not sure when that is going to happen, between the girls' activities, work, and church. There just aren't enough hours in a day.