Remember when you were in elementary school and you were playing any kind of recreational game, like four square, or tetherball, or dodgeball...and something didn't go your way so you asked for a "do over"?
Remember how my theme word for 2007 is "Do"? Well, I need a Do Over.
On Tuesday I went to the funeral of my dear friend's 25 year old nephew. I never met the young man, but it was obvious from the crowd at the funeral and the great outpouring of emotion that this young man was well-loved and surrounded by good friends and a loving family. My friend delivered personal remarks about her sweet nephew...there were smiles and laughter, and many tears. I don't know how she got through it. She has always amazed me with her strength. She is such a good example to me.
This young man was killed in an auto accident. Another of his good friends was also killed, and the other passenger in the vehicle is currently hospitalized. The funeral for the other young man was held a few hours after the funeral I attended. Many of those families and friends attended two funerals in one day. So very sad and tragic.
The funeral made me think about my theme word for 2007: Do. Everyone who spoke at the funeral talked about this young man's love of friends, family, and life. He loved hunting, fishing, and being outdoors. He loved spending time with his friends. He was an energetic, friendly, fun person to be around. Everyone said he lived life to the fullest.
Am I doing that in my life? No. Like I said, I need a "Do Over."
I haven't done so well with "Do"ing so far this year. I have spent far too much time sitting on my rear end and not doing the things I want to do...the things my kids want to do...the things I should do. I have allowed three months of my life to slip away and I don't feel like I've really lived them. In my defense, I've been horribly busy at work and it has been exhausting. I haven't felt well. I have been busy chauffering the girls to their activities...trying to keep the household running during DH's coaching season...the list of excuses goes on and on.
Lately I've felt like a spectator in my own life. Like someone else is living my life and I can't yell loudly enough for them to hear me, to let me in and let me take back control of my life. It's a very strange feeling and I don't like it. Of course, I am a control freak....
So it's time to renew my vow to Do. Easter is a time of renewal and it seems like a good time to try again, to try harder, and to be better. It is time for me to live my life. To go for walks and enjoy the beautiful trees and flowers, to spend time sitting in the yard watching the girls play, to spend more time with DH and the girls playing board games or just watching movies, to go on a family vacation that is truly a *family vacation* (we're planning it right now and I can't wait!), to quit procrastinating the "should do" things and the "want to do" things...to instill some self-discipline in my life and try to do better and be better.
It's terrible that it takes a tragedy like this to help me realize how blessed I am and how little I am doing with what I have been given.
Some quotes on the subject....
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of. (Benjamin Franklin)
Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. (Capt Jean-Luc Picard, played by Patrick Stewart, from the film "Star Trek: Generations" --yes, I'm a Trekkie!)
I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. — Anonymous
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out and proclaiming, 'WOW, WHAT A RIDE!!!'" (Bill McKenna) -- I LOVE THIS ONE!
