My last post was my opportunity to reminisce about Brie as she nears a milestone in her life. Now I get to reminisce about Alyssa...
It's so hard to believe that she is done with her sophomore year in high school. What an amazingly successful year she has had! Straight As (actually, straight 100s!) in two AP classes, one gifted class, three honors classes, Spanish 3, and marketing...lettering in two sports...being nominated for a prestigious summer gifted program in four subjects...winning her regional DECA competion, then placing in the state competition, and the competing in the international competition...and just recently being selected for our city chamber of commerce's Youth Leadership Program and for a wonderful summer program for students who want to teach math or science in the future (only 25 students from the entire state are selected!). But what has really filled us with joy this year is her desire to do her best and to really work hard to achieve her goals. She has far outshone any of my high school accomplishments (which I used to think were numerous, LOL). And through all of this, she attended early morning seminary without complaint.
Her teachers have repeatedly expressed to us what a joy she is to work with and how impressed they are with her work ethic, her attitude, and her dedication. She truly is a remarkable young woman.
In the midst of her preparations for AP exams this year, she was getting a bit frustrated, stressed, and down on herself. I ordered her a necklace I found online, with a little silver tag that says "I can do hard things." I wanted to remind her not only CAN she do hard things, but that she can do them well and that she should do them -- that she should choose to do them.
One of the hardest things I ever did was leave her, as a tiny, precious little baby, in the hospital NICU after I was discharged. No new mother wants to leave her baby behind...and I'm so grateful it was only for a few days. But it was so very hard. It was hard to give birth to her only to have her rushed out of the room and away from me, not to see her for hours and hours and hours. (I won't even go into the fact that natural childbirth was *really* hard, LOL.) It was hard to go watch her go through some interesting health scares as a baby...chronic ear infections and a few ear surgeries as a toddler and child...and it has been hard to leave behind each phase of life (infancy, the toddler years, childhood....) and move with her into the next phase of life.
I feel sorry for her at times because she's stuck with rookie parents. She is the guinea pig. We've never had a teenager before and the road has had its share of bumps and potholes, along with rainbows and flowers. But I can honestly say that there isn't a teenager on the face of the earth that I would rather go on this journey with. She is an example to me of strength and determination. The poor girl inherited some of my perfectionist tendencies and it is hard to try to convince her that it's ok to let go a little bit...not that I've mastered that lesson yet.
It will be hard to let her get behind the wheel of a car by herself in a few months...and it will be hard to have her attend a different high school than the one her Daddy teaches at. It will be hard to let her go on her first date...and, when the time comes, I know it will be so very hard to send her off to college. I imagine I'll feel a bit like I did that early August morning almost 16 years ago when she was rushed out of the delivery room and away from me...like a piece of my heart has been ripped out. So very hard. But this is what parenting is about -- about letting go a little more each step of the way.
The fact that I can do hard things doesn't mean I have to like doing them. And letting her grow up is something I don't really like doing.
I think she has taught me, more than I have taught her, that we can do hard things. And that the hard things are worth doing.
