Have you ever noticed that, if you happen to be a typically upbeat, peppy, perky person, other people don't know how to handle it when you have a not-so-upbeat, peppy, perky day/week/month? *Sigh* Come on, people, I can't be perky every day!!
The last couple of weeks were not really happy ones as I just passed what is, in my mind, a momentous birthday. You know how rounding works? Numbers ending in 1 through 4 get rounded down, and numbers ending in 5 through 9 get rounded up? Yeah. Well, I'm now in the "round up" category. Not so fun. This year's birthday was a difficult one for me to deal with. For two weeks prior to my birthday I was miserable. I think made a lot of people around me miserable, too. It's just that it was one of those birthdays that causes you to stop and take account of your life, where you are, where you've been, and where you're going. And in my mind, I just wasn't where I was supposed to be in life by this age.
By this age you're supposed to be a fully grown up adult. I don't feel like a fully grown up adult. And there are days when I really don't want to be a fully grown up adult. There are days when it's just too hard. I still think of myself as being young...younger than I am, anyway. I realize age is a state of mind. Obviously my mind needs some adjusting because I know in my brain that I am *not* old...but lately I've felt old. You know how cars just magically start breaking down when you get a few miles past the warranty limit? I think that's what my body is doing.
By this age I thought I would be through law school and in a successful law practice. Um, yeah...that hasn't happened yet. I still want it to. Will it? I don't know. Right now I'm torn between law school and doing a PhD. Which one will end up actually happening? Who knows...I want to do both. I'm so indecisive! Going to school is so important to me and is a huge part of my identity. I love the learning process. I can't wait to get started on that.
By this age I thought I would have a larger family. Um, yeah...that hasn't happened yet either. I have learned that some things are just completely out of my control. For a control freak, that's a hard lesson to learn. Do I like it? No. Am I good at accepting it? Definitely not. Am I working on it? Yes.
But, as a wonderful friend pointed out, I have a successful career, a wonderful and loving husband, and two beautiful, smart, fabulous, well-adjusted children. Really, it's probably selfish of me to want more. I need to work on being satisfied and content with what I have and where I am in life. I have been richly and abundantly blessed and for that I am truly grateful.
I went out with the Divas for dinner last night. There are four Divas -- three of my dear friends from my first job in Georgia and myself. We don't get together as often as any of us would like, but when we do we always have a great time. I needed that last night. These three dear friends of mine always make me smile and laugh and recharge my battery. They spoiled me with lovely birthday gifts and we even got free ice cream at the restaurant since we were celebrating two birthdays (mine and the birthday of one of the other Divas). I don't know if these three women realize how much they mean to me and how important our connection is. I have learned over the last several years that women really do need to have close female friends. They fill a need our husbands just can't fill, no matter how hard they try. We can laugh together, cry together, whine and complain, just be together, shop together, or just sit and talk and it always makes me feel better. So to the Divas, I send a huge hug and heartfelt thank you...you made this particular birthday special for me and I am thankful for you. I see a shopping/card making day in our future, and I hope it's very soon!!!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A Wedding MeMe...
This is from Lammy http://www.upsaid.com/lammyann/(love her blog...I know her IRL and I have somehow managed to follow her from Yahoo Group to Yahoo Group for our church callings...LOL...I hope she doesn't think I'm a stalker!)....
1. Where/how did you meet? We met in Anchorage at church. We got to know each other in the Young Single Adults (YSA) Sunday School class my Dad taught, and through the YSA activities that my parents often hosted. So much fun...I found some pictures the other night from one of those activities and they brought back so many fun memories.
2. How long have you known each other? 16 1/2 years, I think. October 1990.
3. How long after you met did you start dating? 6-7 months. He was busy with basketball seasons (story of our lives!) and I was dating someone else.
4. How long did you date before you were engaged? 4 months.
5. How long was your engagement? 4 1/2 months
6. How long have you been married? 15 years
7. What is your anniversary? A few months ago....
8. How many people came to your wedding reception? I don't even know! I know there were a ton in Utah...they started showing up about 30 minutes early and were still coming 30 minutes after the reception ended! Our reception in Anchorage was smaller.
9. What kind of cake did you serve? Our cake in Utah was yellow or white (can't remember!) with raspberry filling. Our cake in Anchorage was yellow with buttercream filling, I think.
10. Where was your wedding? Utah
11. What did you serve for your meal? Ice cream sundaes, cookies, nuts, mints, and punch in Utah...finger foods in Anchorage.
12. How many people were in your wedding party? We didn't do the whole bridesmaid/groomsmen thing. Our families dressed in the wedding colors and each helped in a special way with the receptions.
13. Are you still friends with them all? N/A
14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? He got a bit teary-eyed.
15. Most special moment of your wedding day? Sitting together in the celestial room after the ceremony...and the sun coming through stained glass windows of the sealing room during the ceremony. It was a gray, overcast day and the sun popped out at the perfect moment. It was beautiful.
16. Any funny moments? At our wedding luncheon (after the wedding) my brother introduced himself as "Steph's Sister"! We still laugh about that one (well, everyone but my brother!).
17. Any big disasters? No, but we almost had one because my Dad thought he put all of my luggage on top of the wedding flowers in the van. Fortunately the flowers had fallen on the floor so they didn't get squished.
18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Hawaii.
19. How long were you gone? 6 days
20. If you were to do your wedding over....I wouldn't get married in the middle of winter!
21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? As you look at the bed, on the left
22. What size is your bed? Queen
23. Greatest strength as a couple? Strong family/religious values
24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Finding/making time for each other. We really need to work on this.
25. Who literally pays the bills? I suppose both of us do. Mostly me.
26. What is your song? "Everything I Do (I Do it For You)" by Bryan Adams.
27. What did you dance your first dance to? We didn't dance at our receptions.
28. Describe your wedding dress? Very early 90s...Queen Anne neckline, long sleeves (leg of mutton, I think is the style), very fitted bodice and straight skirt, long detachable train...tons and tons of lace and beading. It was actually quite heavy because of all of the beading! Though it's hopelessly out of style now, I really do love my dress. I felt beautiful in it.
29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? In Utah, silk roses, stephanotis, etc...in Anchorage, fresh roses and stargazer lilies.
30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No
31. How old were you when you got married? I was 19, he was 25.
You're all tagged!!!
1. Where/how did you meet? We met in Anchorage at church. We got to know each other in the Young Single Adults (YSA) Sunday School class my Dad taught, and through the YSA activities that my parents often hosted. So much fun...I found some pictures the other night from one of those activities and they brought back so many fun memories.
2. How long have you known each other? 16 1/2 years, I think. October 1990.
3. How long after you met did you start dating? 6-7 months. He was busy with basketball seasons (story of our lives!) and I was dating someone else.
4. How long did you date before you were engaged? 4 months.
5. How long was your engagement? 4 1/2 months
6. How long have you been married? 15 years
7. What is your anniversary? A few months ago....
8. How many people came to your wedding reception? I don't even know! I know there were a ton in Utah...they started showing up about 30 minutes early and were still coming 30 minutes after the reception ended! Our reception in Anchorage was smaller.
9. What kind of cake did you serve? Our cake in Utah was yellow or white (can't remember!) with raspberry filling. Our cake in Anchorage was yellow with buttercream filling, I think.
10. Where was your wedding? Utah
11. What did you serve for your meal? Ice cream sundaes, cookies, nuts, mints, and punch in Utah...finger foods in Anchorage.
12. How many people were in your wedding party? We didn't do the whole bridesmaid/groomsmen thing. Our families dressed in the wedding colors and each helped in a special way with the receptions.
13. Are you still friends with them all? N/A
14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony? He got a bit teary-eyed.
15. Most special moment of your wedding day? Sitting together in the celestial room after the ceremony...and the sun coming through stained glass windows of the sealing room during the ceremony. It was a gray, overcast day and the sun popped out at the perfect moment. It was beautiful.
16. Any funny moments? At our wedding luncheon (after the wedding) my brother introduced himself as "Steph's Sister"! We still laugh about that one (well, everyone but my brother!).
17. Any big disasters? No, but we almost had one because my Dad thought he put all of my luggage on top of the wedding flowers in the van. Fortunately the flowers had fallen on the floor so they didn't get squished.
18. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Hawaii.
19. How long were you gone? 6 days
20. If you were to do your wedding over....I wouldn't get married in the middle of winter!
21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? As you look at the bed, on the left
22. What size is your bed? Queen
23. Greatest strength as a couple? Strong family/religious values
24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Finding/making time for each other. We really need to work on this.
25. Who literally pays the bills? I suppose both of us do. Mostly me.
26. What is your song? "Everything I Do (I Do it For You)" by Bryan Adams.
27. What did you dance your first dance to? We didn't dance at our receptions.
28. Describe your wedding dress? Very early 90s...Queen Anne neckline, long sleeves (leg of mutton, I think is the style), very fitted bodice and straight skirt, long detachable train...tons and tons of lace and beading. It was actually quite heavy because of all of the beading! Though it's hopelessly out of style now, I really do love my dress. I felt beautiful in it.
29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? In Utah, silk roses, stephanotis, etc...in Anchorage, fresh roses and stargazer lilies.
30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No
31. How old were you when you got married? I was 19, he was 25.
You're all tagged!!!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Time Goes By...
Oh my, has it been a week already? I guess it has!
Last week was busy...as all weeks are. That's life in our family...always on the go.
Friday night DH and I actually went on a date. Wow -- the first in AGES! We went out to dinner and it was pretty good. Then we went to Bass Pro Shops to buy one of his birthday gifts. Two of my coworkers love Bass Pro Shops (really, it's quite unhealthy how obsessed they are with all things fishing) and I had heard grand tales of the mecca that is BPS. Aside from being surrounded by all things camouflage (yuck) and more fishing poles, fishing lures, and camping gear than I ever care to see again in my life, I have to say that the store wasn't that bad, in terms of visual interest. There is a huge fish tank in the center of the store and that was pretty cool. The landscaping around the outside of the store is nice, and the store was definitely decorated in a rustic way. The layout of the store, however, was confusing and left much to be desired. But it really doesn't matter -- I don't plan to go back! I'm so glad my husband isn't into bass fishing...
B had a soccer game on Saturday. She played well (considering she's much, much younger than anyone else on her team or the opposing team) and had lots of fun. We all got sunburns despite the glorious 83 degree temperature. Now, flash forward to September and add about 15 degrees plus humidity to the temperature...fall softball season is MISERABLE for spectators!
A and I went to the YW General Broadcast at church Saturday night. It was really good. I was sad that the turnout was so low...only 6 girls from our ward and 4 from the other. I'm hoping the other girls watched it at home since it was shown on DISH and DirecTV. It was really, really good. I loved Pres. Hinckley's remarks. He gave the girls a "recipe" for life, with just four ingredients:
1. Pray (personal prayers and family prayers)
2. Study (scriptures and get a good education)
3. Pay tithing (no-brainer!)
4. Attend church meetings
One of the men at church was there for part of the broadcast and he talked about this and said, "I can do 4 things!" I, too, can do 4 things. I need to resolve to do better and some of these things. Some I do pretty good with...but some others I really need to work on. But I *can* do 4 things!
Last week was busy...as all weeks are. That's life in our family...always on the go.
Friday night DH and I actually went on a date. Wow -- the first in AGES! We went out to dinner and it was pretty good. Then we went to Bass Pro Shops to buy one of his birthday gifts. Two of my coworkers love Bass Pro Shops (really, it's quite unhealthy how obsessed they are with all things fishing) and I had heard grand tales of the mecca that is BPS. Aside from being surrounded by all things camouflage (yuck) and more fishing poles, fishing lures, and camping gear than I ever care to see again in my life, I have to say that the store wasn't that bad, in terms of visual interest. There is a huge fish tank in the center of the store and that was pretty cool. The landscaping around the outside of the store is nice, and the store was definitely decorated in a rustic way. The layout of the store, however, was confusing and left much to be desired. But it really doesn't matter -- I don't plan to go back! I'm so glad my husband isn't into bass fishing...
B had a soccer game on Saturday. She played well (considering she's much, much younger than anyone else on her team or the opposing team) and had lots of fun. We all got sunburns despite the glorious 83 degree temperature. Now, flash forward to September and add about 15 degrees plus humidity to the temperature...fall softball season is MISERABLE for spectators!
A and I went to the YW General Broadcast at church Saturday night. It was really good. I was sad that the turnout was so low...only 6 girls from our ward and 4 from the other. I'm hoping the other girls watched it at home since it was shown on DISH and DirecTV. It was really, really good. I loved Pres. Hinckley's remarks. He gave the girls a "recipe" for life, with just four ingredients:
1. Pray (personal prayers and family prayers)
2. Study (scriptures and get a good education)
3. Pay tithing (no-brainer!)
4. Attend church meetings
One of the men at church was there for part of the broadcast and he talked about this and said, "I can do 4 things!" I, too, can do 4 things. I need to resolve to do better and some of these things. Some I do pretty good with...but some others I really need to work on. But I *can* do 4 things!
Monday, March 19, 2007
New Perspective
For some time, B had been telling us she didn't like to read. What??? Since when? That surprised us, since she used to love to read. It got to the point that she literally got upset with us when we "made" her read. And then we noticed that she would rock the piano bench forward while she played, to the point that her arms were scrunched up at her sides and her face was literally 6 inches from the music. Which, I should point out, is beginning music so it's still "big note" music. Hmmmm....
A few other little clues, and we decided we should get her eyes checked. Guess what? She needed reading glasses! Her distance vision is fine, but she needed a bit of help for reading, computer work, and playing the piano.
So together, she and A picked out her reading glasses. They came in earlier this week. She loves them.
And guess what? Yesterday afternoon, she told DH on the way home from church that she couldn't wait to get home to finish reading a book she had started. She spent almost an hour on the couch yesterday, curled up with her book, wearing her new reading glasses. And she loved it.
She loves reading again. I wish we had realized what the problem was sooner...we could have saved the stress of the last several months, battling to get her to read for school. I'm thrilled that she loves reading again!
Is she not the cutest little girl in glasses you've ever seen??!!
We Survived...I Think...
Last week is over. Totally, officially, and completely over. And we survived. Mostly. I think.
Yes, A's ear pain was, indeed, an ear infection. After starting antibiotics (and continuing ibuprofen and decongestants) she hasn't complained of any ear pain since Saturday. Yea! I haven't called the ENT yet to tell them about the ear infection. I'm afraid of what they might say. So is A and she keeps asking me not to call them.
The Girls' Camp Walkathon fundraiser for church went really well Saturday morning, although it was FREEZING cold. Yes, even Georgia gets cold. It was about 40 degrees outside but the wind was blowly horribly. It was cold. But almost every girl who participated did the full 10 miles. A did her 10 miles in 3 hours 15 minutes. I am so proud of her. All of the girls were complaining of being sore at church yesterday, and A was even more sore today. But she did it. They worked hard but they all had a good time together. They also realized how much work will be involved in doing our stake pioneer trek this summer (10 miles in July -- think heat and humidity!).
B had her first soccer game on Saturday. Her team didn't win but DH said she played really well. The other team was apparently made up of 10 year old giants (B thinks they were actually 12 years old) who were, in her words "aggressive." Apparently one boy kept running her over...so after the first time she decided to be "aggressive" with him, too. I'm not sure she ever actually inflicted any bodily harm on him, but she said it was frustrating that the other girls on her team wouldn't get "aggressive." She said next time they play that team she's going to kick him in the shins! Uh-oh...we'd better work on sportsmanship!
A's two play performances on Saturday were great. She did a wonderful job with her part and she looked adorable. OK, so she was supposed to look like "trailer trash" (no offense intended for anyone who lives in a trailer!)...and this is not a look we normally try to achieve in our family. But she was cute! She had fun with the whole production and then went out after the last show with a bunch of the other cast members....didn't get home until after midnight so she was exhausted (still is!). She had a lot of fun and is already looking forward to next year's drama production. I've included several pictures from the play. On Thursday and Friday she was Violet, the Blueberry...for the two Saturday shows she had the Violet speaking part. I've posted the "before" and "after" pictures. As you can tell, it took a few people (and some contortions) to get her into the blueberry suit!
Doing hair and makeup on a cast that huge was quite an undertaking. I'm still exhausted from it. Please remind me next year that some of the students in the production will need a tutorial in "Personal Hygiene 101" -- including the use of deodorant, dandruff shampoo (heck, just shampoo in general!), and the importance of showering on a daily basis (or more often, since this year the week of the play happened to be the same week as baseball tryouts). Nasty! I also forgot to take air freshener. Closing up 62 excited, smelly, costumed middle school students in one hallway makes for some pretty stale air. Fortunately we were able to prop a door open and get some fresh air circulating. I teased, curled, pinned up, sprayed gray or blue, and braided lots of heads of hair. I'm grateful to the 2-3 high school students who did hair and makeup on the Oompa Loompas -- that took care of a huge part of the workload right there.
It's over...and while I say I don't ever want to do it again, part of me is looking forward to next year already. Just like last year, I really had a lot of fun spending this time with A and her friends, and as long and smelly and sweaty and hard as it was (and as sore as my feet, knees, and back are), I'm glad she wants me to be involved.
Friday, March 16, 2007
You would think I would have learned by now...
Not to tempt fate. Not to comment on how well things are going in a particular area...because as soon as you do that, you just know that Fate is going to swoop in and muck it all up.
I went to lunch with a friend yesterday and we somehow got on the topic of children's ear problems. I mentioned that A's ear surgery last summer seems to have been very effective...her hearing has been restored to almost 100% and she hasn't had an ear infection since before the surgery.
So guess what?
A just now called me from school, complaining of an earache. This is not good. Not good at all. You see, A doesn't just get earaches. She gets ear infections. Every single earache this child has ever had (that I can remember) since she was 8 months old has turned out to be an ear infection.
Tonight is night two of the school play and there are two more performances tomorrow -- her big speaking role that she is SO excited about. She just doesn't need an ear infection right now. Not to mention that if she starts getting ear infections again we're looking at more surgery.
*Sigh* Why can't I remember to not tempt fate?
I went to lunch with a friend yesterday and we somehow got on the topic of children's ear problems. I mentioned that A's ear surgery last summer seems to have been very effective...her hearing has been restored to almost 100% and she hasn't had an ear infection since before the surgery.
So guess what?
A just now called me from school, complaining of an earache. This is not good. Not good at all. You see, A doesn't just get earaches. She gets ear infections. Every single earache this child has ever had (that I can remember) since she was 8 months old has turned out to be an ear infection.
Tonight is night two of the school play and there are two more performances tomorrow -- her big speaking role that she is SO excited about. She just doesn't need an ear infection right now. Not to mention that if she starts getting ear infections again we're looking at more surgery.
*Sigh* Why can't I remember to not tempt fate?
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The Children I Chose to Have
One of the blogs I read daily posted a link to this http://www.guardian.co.uk/family/story/0,,2030155,00.html article. I enjoyed reading it and it gave me a fresh perspective on the challenge, rollercoaster, journey, and joy that is Motherhood. While the author says she is happy with the decision she and her husband have made, the last paragraph of the article betrays her heart.
One of my other favorite bloggers has been posting over the last couple of weeks about her and her husband's journey through infertility, adoption, and subsequent pregnancy. If you haven't taken time to read Kristie's blog http://www.notquitewhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/, you must! She will make you laugh, cry, laugh some more, and think. While we haven't been through the extensive journey she and her husband went through to have children, we have had our own share of bumps in the road. So has my sister M.
I've thought about the decision to have, or not have, children quite a bit lately. Quite a bit. Some might say I've thought about it too much. Others might say I haven't thought about it enough. But it's been weighing heavily on my mind.
Our decision to have children was not taken lightly. Neither was Kristie's. Neither is my sister's, or my other two sisters. It was something we prayed about and wanted so badly. I cannot imagine life without my children. It is, as the author of the first article wrote, a "firework-exciting, chaotic rollercoaster ride with the most joy-giving little creature(s) imaginable." What a ride, indeed.
My heart goes out to those who experience the heartache of infertility. But my heart also aches for those who consciously choose not to have children. Those who choose to cut themselves off from a precious life full of joy, laughter, love, snuggles, sticky hugs, fingerprints on the furniture, crayon on the walls, craziness, frantic schedules, lack of sleep, and even pain and tears. Anyone who says parenthood does not involve pain and tears is lying. But the pain and tears are, at least in my experience, compensated by joy, laughter, and love. I understand why some people choose not to have children. Just the same, I know they are missing out on something wonderful. Something hard, but wonderful. I know we learn a lot about Heavenly Father and his infinite capacity for unconditional love, forgiveness, and mercy by being parents.
So today I am grateful for the children my husband and I chose to have. We wish we had more children. Sometimes things don't work out the way we planned, hoped, or dreamed. But I am grateful every day of my life for the children we chose to have and the countless ways they have blessed my life. I love you, A and B.
One of my other favorite bloggers has been posting over the last couple of weeks about her and her husband's journey through infertility, adoption, and subsequent pregnancy. If you haven't taken time to read Kristie's blog http://www.notquitewhatihadplanned.blogspot.com/, you must! She will make you laugh, cry, laugh some more, and think. While we haven't been through the extensive journey she and her husband went through to have children, we have had our own share of bumps in the road. So has my sister M.
I've thought about the decision to have, or not have, children quite a bit lately. Quite a bit. Some might say I've thought about it too much. Others might say I haven't thought about it enough. But it's been weighing heavily on my mind.
Our decision to have children was not taken lightly. Neither was Kristie's. Neither is my sister's, or my other two sisters. It was something we prayed about and wanted so badly. I cannot imagine life without my children. It is, as the author of the first article wrote, a "firework-exciting, chaotic rollercoaster ride with the most joy-giving little creature(s) imaginable." What a ride, indeed.
My heart goes out to those who experience the heartache of infertility. But my heart also aches for those who consciously choose not to have children. Those who choose to cut themselves off from a precious life full of joy, laughter, love, snuggles, sticky hugs, fingerprints on the furniture, crayon on the walls, craziness, frantic schedules, lack of sleep, and even pain and tears. Anyone who says parenthood does not involve pain and tears is lying. But the pain and tears are, at least in my experience, compensated by joy, laughter, and love. I understand why some people choose not to have children. Just the same, I know they are missing out on something wonderful. Something hard, but wonderful. I know we learn a lot about Heavenly Father and his infinite capacity for unconditional love, forgiveness, and mercy by being parents.
So today I am grateful for the children my husband and I chose to have. We wish we had more children. Sometimes things don't work out the way we planned, hoped, or dreamed. But I am grateful every day of my life for the children we chose to have and the countless ways they have blessed my life. I love you, A and B.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)