Lead, Kindly Light

I'm counting yesterday's post about Brie and Mark's basketball season as my now-recurring Sunday post.  See?  I really am on a roll!

The last couple of weeks have been rather stressful for us.  As you know, I work for the federal government.  And, with sequestration now in effect, we are facing the very real prospect of me being furloughed from my job for a total of 22 days over five to six months...the equivalent of 20% of my pay for that time period.  That is a loss we simply cannot afford.  And so with that comes stress.  HUGE amounts of stress.  We are looking at cutting and cancelling what can be cut and cancelled, but still the numbers won't add up and ends won't meet.  That's the reality of our life right now.

And in this same time period, we have suffered a broken down car ($1100 to $4500 or more to fix it), a daughter who is pretty sure she needs a root canal, me being pretty sure I need some significant (read: expensive) dental work (probably including a root canal and crown), my symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis flaring up in grand form (constant pain), and now health concerns with other extended family members.  They say bad things/bad news comes in threes.  We are now up to #7.  That's got to be some kind of record.

And yet, amidst the stress and turmoil and uncertainty, there have been blessings.  I would be a very ungrateful servant indeed if I did not acknowledge them.

*Normally this amount/level of stress would cause me significant stomach issues.  That has not been the case.  I have had a few mild flare-ups but they have not been as bad as I expected.  I felt impressed to start some new natural treatment options recently and it would appear, based on anecdotal evidence gathered over the last two weeks, that these treatment options are indeed helping.  Or, at the very least, not hurting.

*My dear visiting teacher was able to drive me to the temple on Friday.  Earlier in the week we had planned to go, with me driving, but now that we're down to one car for a while that wasn't a possibility.  I desperately needed to be in the temple last week and I hate to be dependent on anyone for anything, but I'm grateful that she was able to drive so that I could be where I needed to be and get some of the peace and comfort that I desperately needed.

*The temple itself is a huge blessing.  I am grateful that it is so close (it took just under an hour to get there and about the same amount of time to get back).  I am grateful for the peace that can be found there.  I am grateful for the strong impression that I felt there that somehow we would have sufficient for our needs during this difficult time.  I don't know how that will possibly be, but I had such a strong, overpowering feeling that, somehow, we would have sufficient for our needs...I cannot deny that feeling.

*We will be able to draw on assistance from our family if needed.  I hate to do that but I am grateful it is a possibility.

*I am grateful for opportunities to serve and for my dear sisters in our new ward who have become friends who reached out to me yesterday to make sure I was ok and to see if there was anything they could do, and who are willing to just listen.  I am grateful for a dear new friend at work who provides a much needed sounding board and "safe place" for me to vent.  I am grateful for "old friends" whose examples of faith and determination are inspiring.

*I am grateful for Mark, who has such calm and steady faith.  He is the yin to my yang.  I am grateful for his steadiness and support, and that he never blames me for creating the situation we are in (especially because we both know it's my fault).

*I am grateful for music, and especially for hymns, and especially this one that has been on my mind much in the last few days...

Lead, Kindly Light

Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me.

*I am grateful for prayer and for the peace that I find when I pour out my heart and soul to my Heavenly Father.  I am grateful that He knows me and loves me.